My Epileptic Life

What comes to your mind when you hear the word Epilepsy? Do you think the person is weird because they have a disorder they have no control over? Epilepsy which is sometimes called a seizure disorder, is a disorder of the brain. The cause of epilepsy is still unknown.
In middle school I was tested for seizures. After moving to a new town and a new school my parents noticed my grades slipping. Over the years plenty of tests were done on me not just once but twice. I had a video EEG (electroencephalogram) done that showed I miss 75% of my day. It was no wonder I was failing my classes. The neurologist put me on a medication to see how it worked and that I needed to return back for a follow up.
In high school my grades still weren’t the greatest. Also during my middle school days I missed some school due to my seizures. I remember one day I was out riding my back and the next thing I knew I flipped over the handle bars and hit my head on the concrete. The result in that happening was a concussion and 6 staples in the back of the head. Then when I was a freshman in high school it was a nightmare for my parents. All I remember from that one night was going to my room to get into my pajamas. From there everything was told by my parents. My dad heard a loud thud come from my room. Come to find out I hit my head on my dresser. My dad and uncle found me passed out and grey; also not breathing. My parents called 911 and the EMS came and got me. Of course they ask questions like what day is it or what’s your name? They went to the hospital and I had tests done. They sent me home and come to find out I wasn’t even home for 15 min and was passed out again. This time I didn’t even know what happened. I didn’t realize what happened until I noticed I was put in the hospital overnight for evaluation. The next day I was able to go home but needed to take it easy.
Over the years with all the doctor visits and all the tests I was put on a total of 6 different seizure medications. I’ve been on Depakote (made me gain a lot of weight), Zarontin, Lamictal, Keppra, Dilantin (was taken off because it causes your teeth to rot), and last but not least Topamax. All of these didn’t even help me. They would help fior a little bit but my body got use to the medicine.

Normally I don’t know when a seizure is to come about. It just happens out of nowhere. With having seizures you are limited on things you are able to do. For instants driving; doctors have to approve you to be able to get your license. You can’t be around strobe lights because it can trigger a seizure. I don’t ever tell anyone I have epilepsy even though I should so they are aware. I just don’t want anyone feeling sorry for me or babying me. Now that I’m an adult I’ve choose to not take any medications or see doctors. When I was younger I couldn’t tell when a seizure was coming on. Now that I’m older I can tell when I’m about to have one. My whole body feels really strange and my head feels huge. Normally my seizures are like me daydreaming . I’ll talk weird and ramble on nonsense and when the seizure is done I’ll be confused on what I was doing.
Did you know that even famous people like Vincent Van Gogh, Sir Isaac Newton, Napoleon Bonaparte, Charles Dickens, Edgar Allen Poe, Leonardo Da Vinci, Michelandgelo, and Julis Caesar all had epilepsy as well. It’s crazy to think that legends like these men suffered with seizures and overcame all the obstacles thrown their way and came so far. Having epilepsy obviously didn’t stop them from achieving their dreams. They came out on top.

EEG- is a test that detects electrical activity in your brain using small, flat metal discs ( electrodes) attached to your scalp. Your brain cells communicate via electrical impulses and are active all the time, even when your sleep. This activity shows up as wavy lines on an EEG recording.




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Vicious Attacker

p]======                        When I was 8 years old I spent a lot of time at my grandparents house. You would always catch me outside playing with there dog. The dog was one of the most beautiful dogs I’d ever seen. She was a Husky/ Akiti. The dog’s eyes were baby blue just like the sky.

It was Memorial Day Weekend and on the holidays my grandparents always threw get togethers. At the end of dinner all the ladies in the house were cleaning up and I over heard my grandma holler to my grandpa to take the scraps out to the dog. I spoke up and told my grandma that I’d feed the dog for her. She handed me a bowl full of food to take out. While making my way out to the dog I noticed it was pacing back and forth just watching me. I was young I didn’t know any better. I thought at the time I was doing a good deed. The dog walked so much over the time of my grandparents having her that she made a path in the grass. The closer I got the closer the dog got too.

I bent over to put the food into her bowl, but when I looked up all I remember was the dog latched onto my right arm. At the time of me going outside my brother, cousin, dad and uncle were all outside talking. So when they heard me screaming they all came running. The dog let go on my right arm and I tried to get away, but the dog got my left arm faster than I could move. I do remember that my dad went up and kicked the dog in the mouth in hopes of letting my arm go. My uncle pulled me away when the dog decided to let go of me.  Both my dad and uncle applied pressure to both arms while guiding me inside to clean my arms and bandage them until we could get to the hospital. I remember hearing my dad tell everyone in the household that the dog was throwing me around like a rag doll. I also heard my mom screaming because her baby was hurt and seeing my aunt holding my mom back so she could calm down some.

My parents and my grandma and I loaded up and headed to the hospital. While being there I fell asleep waiting for the doctors to come in. The doctor came in and numbed my right arm. When putting the stitches in my dad counted 14 stitches. Doctor told my parents that he would have to leave my left arm as an open womb that if they were to stitch it up that my skin would be pulled.  The dogs life came to and end after waiting 7 days to make sure the dog didn’t have rabies. To this day a lot of people ask me if I’m afraid of dogs. Of course I am; only some though. I’m not a fan of Rots or Dobermens. To this day I have 11 scars from that dog.

Thanks for reading.


Every parent I’m sure gets tired of hearing,” I’m Bored.” Well in my household I took it upon myself to figure out how to keep my step-daughter and niece occupied.  The always seem to get SO BORED so fast. One day I got on Pinterest and found THE BORED JAR. Some maybe wondering what that is? All it is is a jar with either slips of paper or popsicle sticks ( like i used) with activities on them for the kids to do.

Here is a list:

  • Pick up sticks
  • Color the sidewalk
  • Read a book
  • Draw a self-portrait
  • Help sort laundry
  • Make a sign for your bedroom
  • Draw a family picture
  • Hide N’ Seek
  • Play leapfrog
  • Play outside
  • Take out trash
  • Watch a movie
  • Color on your Quiet Bag
  • Help Cook
  • Make Applesauce
  • Go ride Bikes
  • Make play dough
  • Draw a map of your house
  • Make paper snowflakes
  • Paper-mache
  • Draw 3 different animals mixed into one
  • Play I spy
  • Make a Pom-Pom rug
  • Write to a family member
  • Pick up toys and books
  • Draw a picture
  • Make homemade body scrub
  • Sweep the kitchen
  • Trace body with chalk
  • Help with dishes
  • Go Jump rope
  • Make homemade Chalk
  • Make bird feed ornaments
  • Make a garden rock caterpillar
  • Feed and water the dogs
  • Ipad for 1 hour only
  • Bake a cake
  • Clean your room
  • Build a snowman
  • Color
  • Scavenger Hunt
  • Play Hopscotch

That is just some of the ideas I have for the girls. I’ve currently been looking for more to add to the collection. When looking for ideas I try to stay away from the electronics. I add in chores, arts and crafts, cooking ect.. So do you have any ideas I could throw into the BORED JAR for the kids?


Meeting my Soulmate

“Don’t meet someone you met online!” is probably what everyone our generation hears from the older generation. Which I understand why they say that. For one it isn’t save at all and you don’t know if the person is who they say they are. That was always the thought that stuck in my head. I’d like to tell you how I met my soulmate.

When leaving my first husband I ended up moving back home. Before I left Greenwood though one of my friends was telling me about this website that she has met all these guys on. I asked her what it was and she told me POF. I thought what the heck is that.  She told me that POF is Plenty of Fish. Well after I moved back home I decided to check out the website to see what it was all about. Yes I got all these weird messages from guys but I didn’t reply to a lot of them. I then got a message from a guy named Pieter. Out of all the guys that messaged me, Pieter’s message stood out to me.

I wrote him back and he came off as a really nice guy. He gave me compliments, texted me every morning to have a great day, ect..  So one day I decided to make the brave chose of meeting him. The only way I’d meet him is if he came to my work. Well that night he stood me up, he wouldn’t contact me when I sent him messages; so I left to go home. I woke up the next morning to him saying he was really sorry and asked if he could make it up to me. The nice person that I am gave him another chance and that was going to be the last chance too. This time I went to him and when I walked into his trailer all I could think of was WOW he is CUTER in person. The entire time I was there he was super quiet and that was bugging me because I like to talk. So I told him if he wants this to work he needs to talk more. I know we just met but talking is a must. A couple weeks went by of us hanging out and spending time together. I got to the point that I didn’t want to leave him at night. So one night ( his birthday) we were just laying talking to each other and he asked me ” If id be his girl forever?”  Of course I told him YES.

A couple weeks went by where we ran into some obstacles that could of tore us apart, but it just made us stronger. We bounced back and forth living with family until we could get on our feet. The same year we met is the same year I found out I was pregnant.  In 2015 he asked me to marry him and I said yes. I couldn’t picture my life without him in it since I even have a child by him.  In August of 2016 we tired the knot with almost all of our friends and family with us. It was an amazing day that I wish I could keep doing over and over.  Pieter has been my rock, my supporter, a pain in the butt, hardworking, family man. He has kept a smile on my face.  Yes there are days where we bicker but what marriage is perfect? The first year of us being married hasn’t been the easiest but it gets better in time. It’s been a fun filled obstacle course that has been crazy the last 3 years. Seems crazy I’ve been with this man for 3 years and many more to come. 4-29-2014  ❤ I love you Pieter PB&J_0118 12b7e8d3ae282ad7367e98f733cd0f07

Angel Babies


Almost every woman will go through this. When it comes to this happening to yourself you begin to ask questions like, ” Why is this happening to me” or ” Did I do something for this to happen?” Having a miscarriage is hard on a woman and her significant other. Here is my story:

Getting pregnant is always exciting especially if its your first child. My first child was born in 2015. In September of 2016 my husband and I found out that we were going to be expecting another child. Of course it didn’t hit me that it was happening again. Days and weeks went on with no morning sickness, no weight loss or gain. The only thing I noticed was I was more tired than usual. When I was 8 weeks along I got an appointment with Woman’s Care Center so I could get a free ultrasound. While being there they went ahead with the ultrasound and couldn’t find no heartbeat or a baby. They thought well maybe you’re not as far along so we will reschedule an appointment and go from there. A week went by and while at work I noticed some blood ( SORRY about the TMI) and I told my husband that if it doesn’t stop we needed to go to the hospital. The small amount of blood continued.

My husband and I loaded up and headed to the hospital where there did so many tests on me that I can’t even count it all on my hands. They did ultrasounds, drawing blood, urine samples ect.  Of course the ultrasounds showed no signs of a heartbeat. The doctor came in and told my husband the same thing the Woman’s care Center told us. We went home and the next day it just got worse. Again they drew my blood and did an exam. That’s when they noticed my HCG (Human chorionic gonadotropin) levels were dropping which meant I was having a miscarriage. My husband and I were speechless. When we got home all I wanted to do was cry and ask why is this happening to us?

After posting the updates on Facebook for our friends and family I received  numerous messages. I never realized how many woman such as my friends and family had miscarriages. My friends really helped my husband and I get through this process. My doctor ended up giving me a pill to finish the process to avoid any surgeries. He told me I would be in pain and of course I didn’t believe him. The pain was unbearable that I’d rather go through with another C-section than have this done.

After this happened to me I wouldn’t wish this horrible heartache on any woman. The only thing I’m having problems with now is people are still asking me how much longer I have in my pregnancy. I can’t get mad at them for not knowing, but I become speechless and walk away. I walk away because it does still hurt that it happened and I can’t take that back. A lot of people told me that maybe there was something wrong with the baby that god had bigger and better plans for this little angel. There are times where yes I cry because it happened but I tell myself I have to be strong and that I’ll be ok. If this horrible thing has happened to you just remember you will get through it and you will be ok. God had better plans for the beautiful angel.

Thank you for reading

R.I.P  Angel baby     October 2016

Verbal Abuse

So I’ve been debating on whether I’d like to even write this blog. The more I thought about it I decided to go for it.  The one reason I was unsure about talking about this topic is because I never told anyone except my husband about it. So here goes.

                                   On February 2014 I left my first husband due to basically being unhappy ( wont go into detail). I wanted to stay in Greenwood ( where I was living at the time) to see if I could continue my life there. I told one of my customers on what was going on and he opened his place up if I would like to stay there. So I took him up on the offer ( bad idea). All my stuff was packed up and ready to be moved. I was unsure what I was getting myself into. All I could think about was staying in Greenwood. Well over the next month of staying with a customer of mine (since I worked at Speedway) I noticed a couple of things:

  • He wasn’t looking for a job so he would use me for money
  •  If I wanted to go to the library to fill out apps he would tell me I could only stay for an hour.
  • Kept going through my phone and reading all my messages
  • Kept telling me I’d get no where in life
  • That I was a failure
  • Telling me I don’t need to be sleeping ( when I worked third shift)
  • ( Hate to even say this one) even used me for sex 😦

Over the last couple of weeks the customer finally got a job. During that time I went back home for my cousin’s wedding. Right then I knew I was meant to be back with my family and I was needing to leave Greenwood for good.  When heading back to Greenwood I went about my daily routine with work and of course being told what to do.  I was to the point of being scared to even sleep. So one day while he was at work I decided to get out and go be with friends and just have fun for once. Well all hell is about to break loose.

Basically I told him I was thinking about going home for good because that is where I belong. When I told him I wanted to move back home he started to threaten me. I made some phone calls and told them what was going on and that I needed help getting my items from the apartment.  My brother and sister-in-law helped me get my items. WE got everything out just in time and got back to his place to hide my car. That whole night he was blowing up my phone with texts and calls to the point of harassment. I even told him that if he is going to continue this I’m calling the cops. That didn’t even scare him. The next day I contacted my boss and told her I wasn’t coming in. Well unfortunately I still had to because of no replacement.  I also called Speedway Corp and asked for a transfer. Until then I needed to go about my life. I called my friend who was a boss and he came and got me to take me to work. I was seriously petrified to even go in even with my friends there with me. We even got a game plan set in case the customer was to come in.  My friend guarded the doors and kept a look out. That night when I went back to my brothers he told me about getting a call back from Speedway corp. Come to find out my request was approved. Needless to say it took all but 24 hours for it all to go through. That next day I headed out to go back home and never looked back.

A lot of you are probably wondering Why I never said anything to anyone about him?

Well I was scared for my life and wasn’t sure what he was capable of doing. I was scared to even tell my family. I was to the point of being scared to sleep.  Yes I put myself in a bad situation and should have just moved back home when I left my first husband.  At times I wish I could go back and redo everything I did wrong, but then again if I did that I wouldn’t be where I’m at in life now. My life is so much better and the rest is yet to come.


Thank you for reading. Please don’t be afraid to comment.


Farm hand

Back in May 2016 my husband called me up asking if I’d like a job? At the time he was working on a dairy farm. So when he asked me if I’d like to work there I was really unsure about it. All I knew was customer service. So I gave it a go.

When I first started I thought wow this is going to be an easy job. Well the first couple weeks my whole body hurt. It hurt for me to walk, bend over, even move my arms. I was also more tired since working there. Now my body is use to it and my speed has improved. Some of you maybe wondering “How does the smell not bother you?” Well overs the years of living in the country I’ve got use to the smell. Since being at the farm I’ve learned quite a bit.

Here is what I’ve learned:

  • when cows give more milk
  • the cows body temperatures
  • how to pull calfs
  • brown Swiss has more cream in their milk
  • some cows are more tame

I honestly nevertheless pictured myself working on a farm. I’m not the type to wake up at 3:30am Monday- Saturday. It can be very tiring. I deal with getting kicked on a daily basis as well as getting hit when the cows are doing their business. If it wasn’t for min husband I wouldn’t be there today. Come May 2017 I will of been there a year and I’m glad I’ve stuck with this job. So do you think you can handle working on a farm?IMG_0193